My daughter is 19 and her own independent self...we don't have the bond that I had with my own mother which I accept. She is very close to her dad but I always leave space for her to come to me when she wants to...she takes my directness and to the point advice as raising my voice but it's always done with good intentions and is just my nature...I see it as planting seeds and allowing her to make the choices to water them or not and only time will tell.

Your daughter will find her way as she enters the next phase of growing and you and your wife will be the lighthouse she can always look towards whenever darkness comes her way.